I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I just cut my nipple shaving
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
