Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
