She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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