I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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