Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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