is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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