I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I have feelings that need drinking.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
