is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
