Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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