Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
