So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize