i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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