Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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