I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
