Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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