puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
