All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
