Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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