i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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