Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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