doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
