I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
