I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize