Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize