You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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