Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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