I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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