i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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