Your dad touched me again.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
