escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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