JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
worst night to have a conscience
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
