I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
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