So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Randomize
