Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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