I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
