I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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