I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize