Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I think I am morally bankrupt
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
