no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
