I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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