Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
