i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
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