I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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