I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
