If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
