Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
