last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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