he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
This is the high leading the old right now
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
