oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
