Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
