Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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