They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
