quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
