He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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