So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize