What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
