My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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