Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
whose parrot is this?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
