Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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