Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Randomize