Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Randomize
