you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
