I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Is it because I queefed?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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