when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
