I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
